RAW In Roanoke

1) www.conwaytwittygivesmeaboner.com

2) Wrestling.

Today Raw had a house show in Roanoke, VA. This was my first house show in a coon's age--I went to about 3 or 4 also about 10 years ago in the same building. Here's dem derr matches and what I thought.

Carlito d. Shelton Benjamin
Solid opening match. Hit all their spots. Nothing of REAL note.

Eugene d. Dan Rodimer
Pretty bad match. Would have definitely been a good match for Alleghany High School.

Kofi Kingston d. Val Venis
Venis totally heeled it up and was totally awesome at it. He's good at that. Kingston is really hyped and is probably going to be the next talent to debut on TV, but damn he sucked it up. He had this super lame clappy thing, and was just... bad. He botched a fucking arm drag. AN ARM DRAG. My nuts can arm drag.

The Great Khali d. Hacksaw Jim Duggin
I <3 Hacksaw. He needs more respect than he gets. He's totally fun and awesome.

Cryme Tyme d. Kenny Dykstra and Johnny Nitro
This was a good match after two shitfests. Kenny and Nitro are apparently teaming up more regularly now. It's awesome, and Cryme Tyme is awesome and totally over. I wish they got a big push again.

Santino Marella d. Chris Masters
Masters is good on the mic, Santino was ok. Not an Intercontinental Champ... but solid enough?

Melina Perez d. Mickie James
Boring. Stupid. Waste of my time and my free ticket.

The Hardyz d. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch
Hardyz are incredible performers. Everyone was way into it. Jeff is an incredible spotfest, and Matt is just a damn solid worker. Superb match.

John Cena d. Umaga
Total shit. Cena is awful and needs to be replaced. This match was totally the definition of "same old shit". Don't get me wrong... Cena has good matches in him. His match at the Royal Rumble, and on various Raw's as of late are proof of that... but tonight was "just another" Cena match. I didn't pop for anyone all night, except to boo Cena for being a horrible person to carry the WWE. Blah.

Then the total super awesome best wrestler EVER Khali came back and taunted Cena. I hope Khali wins the belt. THAT would be awesome to the max.

Then my car got towed by McDonald's. Reason number a zillion not to go to that fucking place.